A Late Bloomer.. or just the fern?
Friday, November 21, 2008
I am 29 and a half.
I have issues with myself.
When i was growing up, i dreamed of living the life that i want. To do something that i enjoy doing. It was common that our teachers to ask us what we wanted to do with our future. I was a passive student and i didn't like public attention. I always answered that question by saying that i wanted to be a teacher. Why did i say so.. i just didn't want to be the odd one without a job as an answer. I just couldn't imagine what would his/her reaction if i said i didnt know what i wanted to be. As a teacher, he or she, wouldn't like that kind of answer because if one person answered that, many other would too. Then, the 'serious' question would be taken for granted by most in the class. i knew then there were a few of my classmate that didnt have an honest answer too, but we chose to lie. Well it was not really a serious question too. maybe the teacher just did that to kill the time, or just the set induction...who knew it then? it was not like if she knew what we wanted to be, she would really guide us to be as what we said. The truth was, there was no further discussion about that matter personally and it was forgotten after we finished the "Occupation" chapter in our textbook.
I didn't find the answer to that particular question even after i finished my SPM, the final public examination during my secondary school. When i filled in the application form for university entrance, i didnt know what to pick. My dad told me to be a teacher. reasons? It would be easier for me as i am a female, that teachers work only half a day ( i know it's a myth now ) and lots of school breaks ( 4 times a year). So, yeah, -like i had any other specific interest of other field?- i went for it.
First year of teaching, i found it as a fun job. I realized that it was all about sharing. Sharing is caring, some people say. However, it was not something that i really passionate about. So i thought maybe i would discover the thing that i really enjoy doing later..maybe the next year, or the next next year..
Who would've thought that after 6 years, i still haven't found the answer. i will stuck with this job forever... I dont mind teaching, i do enjoy being with kids or teenagers. i just hope that i can still do something that i like at the same time and earn. Something that is other than teaching.
I might be a late bloomer, that is still cool if i am that. But. What if i am just like the ferns.. i wont ever bloom any flower at all.
Do you enjoy doing what you are doing for a living?
Reality check by Ain Twitty @ 10:05 PM,
2 Comments:
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At November 22, 2008 at 1:08 AM,
Unknown said...
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I wish you can find your way, and will blossom, Ain :)
I think I wrote it before in some comment, most important is to make a decision. And start to seek. All the best.
P.S. also it's good to have good friends supporting you on your way :). -
At November 22, 2008 at 3:39 AM,
Chris Meier said...
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I think that some people have "vocations" - jobs that fulfill their creative, intellectual and social needs. Usually jobs like doctors or writers or activists. And then there are people who have "jobs" - work that pays the bills so that you can do things in your free time that meet your creative, intellectual and social needs. That's the rest of us.
Yes, it's great when you just love what you do for work, but there's nothing wrong with not loving it as long as the other parts of your life compensate for it. I say, experience as many different things as you can and you're bound to find things you enjoy, work or not! :)
The Author
I am a person who used to write a lot when i was growing up but lost the passion to it because of the time constrain and other commitments. writing itself for me was a form of catharsis when i was in school. i was devoted to my diaries each year then.
Now i am starting again and making it as a companion through my journey along the routes i take
About This Blog
This blog is a personal blog where i put my personal thoughts basically about my daily life, my life at work, my kids in the classes i teach, my dreams, my hobbies through art, music, colours and perhaps photography.
Contact Me
ain.twitty@gmail.com
